A New World
by krisstanosleep
Summary: Alexa... alone and trying to survive in a zombie world, when 2 Alexandria residents find and invite her back to their community. The story follows from her persepctive, along with a couple of POV's. AU from the show. It has a few curse words in it, but nothing graffic. Slow burn. (OC/Rick), Daryl, Carl, and the rest of the WD characters
1. Chapter 1: Beginning of the End

I own nothing with The Walking Dead. Nothing but enjoyment is being received by writing these stories.

I sat by a stream to wash the bits and pieces of gore out of my hair. Taking down 3 undead on my own got me a little dirty. That's the nice way of putting it. I sat for a few seconds looking around once more before I started the wonderful task of cleaning off the rank blood.

My name is Alexa. My husband and I were in New York for a conference when the world as we knew it, ended. I am a doctor, well, I WAS a doctor. I haven't really practiced medicine much for the last couple of years. More like, I avoided people at all costs. Not that I am any good at that. My husband wanted to get away from the city. He knew that it was a death sentence to stay there. He was a firefighter. He was made to help people. So to hear him say he wanted to leave. To leave all the injured and sick, well I knew then that we were in some serious trouble.

So here I am, sitting next to some stream in fuck knows where, washing walking corpse matter - from my hair and body. I know that the disease sitting in this flesh is unthinkable. To my left is the water, to my right, just forest. Tons of it. I have no clue where I am.

I was lost in thought when I heard what I thought was voices. Sounded deep, like a man's voice.

"Shit! I have nowhere to hide" I thought.

Looking around frantically, I searched for somewhere to hide myself as much as possible. I was tired after defending myself from the undead. The voices came closer and I froze. Maybe the embankment of the stream would partially cover some of me.

"Lets just fill up the water and get back. I don't like leaving Carl for too long."

"Hold on." said a different voice.

Then it went quiet. I couldn't hear a thing. Not that I can hear that well to begin with.

Curious now, I started to creep up the small embankment to get a better view. Two men were standing there, looking down at me. Guns raised and pointed so steadily at my head.

"Who are you?" asked the guy that had mentioned getting water. His voice was deadly serious in just those 3 little words.

Glancing between the two men, I slowly started to stand up, hands raised slightly.

"I just want to be on my way. You are welcome to the little food that I have. Just, please, let me leave here and I won't look back."

"We aren't out to hurt you. Do you have more people around here?"

"I don't think there is any right answer for that. I'm just wanting to go. I want nothing from you guys."

They stood so still, just staring at me. The first one, the only one that has spoken so far, tilted his head to one side. Just that small gesture, one that would seem so insignificant, made me realize that he was someone that shouldn't be underestimated.

"Okay. I don't have anyone with me. Or waiting for me. I'm alone. And I just want to be on my way. Please." I said, realizing they weren't going to budge from their questions.

The one with all the questions, lowered his weapon. He seemed to be contemplating something. The silent one, grunted slightly, and shifted. I looked between the two, hands still raised and waited. Wishing they would just let me go, my eyes darted around hoping to find an escape route.

"How many walkers have you killed?" asked the first guy.

"What? Are you serious right now?...I don't know. Hundreds I guess. I don't keep track of that!"

"How many of people have you killed?"

"Seriously, this is insane. But seeing you have a fucking gun pointed at me….6. I've killed 6 people."

"Why?"

"..., 2 were self defense. And 4 were pity kills. They were bit, and dying. They asked me to." I replied looking down. The pain of talking about this just made me want to throw up.

"What is your name?"

"Alexa" I sighed. "My name is Alexa. And I am alone. And I would absolutely love it if you would just let me walk out of here. I won't cause you any problems at all. I swear."

"My name is Rick." said the first guy. "That's Daryl over there." Rick points at the man still holding the gun on me. "We have a place not that far from here. A community of sorts. We are headed back there now. You can join us, if you want to. See what it is all about. It's up to you. If not, you are more than welcome to just go off on your own."

Daryl lowered the gun and shifted again, squinting as he looked around. He seemed rather impatient to get going.

I just stood there thinking. Two strange men, offering me a place to go. They haven't made any move to actually hurt me. Just seemed super cautious, making sure I wasn't going to hurt them. I was tired, tired of being alone and trying to fend for myself. How long can one person actually last alone out here anyways?

I took a deep breath…"okay. I'll come with you if you are serious. If I don't like what I see when I get there though, I'm leaving."

"Fair enough" said Rick. "Let's get going. I was hoping to make it back before dark."

I walked past both of them to my pack, grabbed it, and turned to them.

"All right. I'm set, I'll follow you."

Daryl took the lead, Rick gestured for me to go next, and he took up the rear.

"What have I gotten myself into?" I thought. My heart was beating so fast I was sure that any undead, or _walkers_ as these two called them, could hear it from a mile away.

I followed Daryl into the forest. I had absolutely no idea where he was going. We were completely bushwhacking, nothing even resembling trail anywhere I looked. He seemed sure of himself though, not even faltering in a step.

After walking for about 3 miles, we came to a road. Rick turned to me and said, "All right, about 4 more miles and we will be there."

Wiping my forehead, I looked at him. He was studying me intently, I'm sure judging what my reaction would be.

I stood up straight, and put on my big girl face and fake bravado, "Sounds good. I'm ready whenever you are."

Daryl was watching us talk and had the smallest hint of a smirk. He nodded his head and grunted "well let's move then. Wastin' time just standing here."

He started walking again and I fell in line. The last time I was around people, in a camp type setting, I lost everything. I followed warily, wondering what exactly was in store once we reached their destination.

Just as the sun starting setting, I saw it. Walls. Huge walls. I slowed down in my walking and stared.

Daryl, noticing I had slowed down, stopped and looked at Rick.

"Welcome to Alexandria" Rick said.


	2. Chapter 2: A Long Road Traveled

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Walking Dead. My enjoyment of creating this story is the only payment I receive.

Chapter 2: A Long Road Traveled

"Amazing….I had no idea something like this existed." I breathed as I stood in quiet awe looking up at the massive walls.

Rick nodded his head in understanding. It was an impressive sight.

"Open the gates!" Daryl shouted at a pretty hispanic girl on a lookout platform.

The door rolled to the side revealing what was hidden behind the walls. I followed Daryl through and saw houses. Tons of houses, gorgeous houses. It was unreal; kids playing in the streets and people actually gardening and cleaning up their lawns.

"Here we are.", said Rick. "This is Alexandria, a little community that has been here since the start. I'm going to get you settled in one of the houses for now. You will have to share the space with others, but it's not so bad. I'll wait outside while you drop off your stuff and then I have some people that will want to meet you."

"That's okay. I would rather keep my bag with me while I meet these other people" I replied.

This place seemed too good to be true, I had no intention of leaving my backpack of 2 water bottles and a few cans of tuna anywhere without me.

Rick nodded his head and started walking again. I just followed along behind him, trying to ignore the stares I was getting from some of the residents.

We came up to a house where a teenage boy was sitting on the porch. In his arms a little girl, not even a toddler yet. I couldn't help but stare at the pair. The boy had his head and eye wrapped in a white bandage. Sitting on top of his head, was a sheriff's hat. He stared at me intently back. The same stare as the man who I was following. These two were definitely related. I gave the teen a small smile and nodded my head in his direction as I passed by them following Rick into the house. His expression never changed.

Once inside, Rick took me to the kitchen. Bright and airy, something I would have liked before all this happened. I stood next to the island in quiet disbelief that all of this happened. Not even 12 hours earlier I was sitting next to a stream, cleaning off human remains from my body. Now I am standing in an upper middle class kitchen.

I shook myself out of my reflections as more people entered into the room.

"Alexa, here are some of my family I wanted you to meet." Rick started "There's Daryl, which you already know, Maggie and Glen, Carol, my son Carl and daughter, Judith."

As he said their names I glanced at each one. Maggie and Glen stood side by side, looking very much at ease leaning against the other side of the island. They had a welcoming look on their faces. Carol seemed to be a motherly type woman. She stood against the counter watching my reaction to Rick talking. Carl and Judith were near the entrance to the kitchen. Carl stood quietly, looking at his dad more than at me. Judith stared at me with open and childlike curiosity.

"We met Alexa here out in the forest earlier today. She was alone, and we offered for her to come back and join us if she wanted." Rick said.

"Hi Alexa", Maggie spoke in a pretty Southern accent, "It's nice to have you here. We haven't seen anyone around for a few weeks. Are you hungry? Can we get you a little something to eat?"

I wanted with every part of me to accept, but worried that if I did I would somehow have to pay it back. I shook my head "no" and just gave her a small smile.

"That's okay." I said, "I'm good for now and I have a few things with me."

"All right then…. You're all alone? You didn't have a group?" Maggie asked quietly and a little hesitantly.

I stood there, debating about how to answer. I didn't really want to get into much with them. Bring up the past.

"No, I didn't have a group when Rick and Daryl found me. I had been with a group, 4 of us, but they didn't make it. I had been on my own for a few days. I lost track. It hasn't been that long though."

"What happened to them?" Glen asked.

I stayed quiet for a moment, before answering, "They were killed. We found a group, we were low on food and out of water, pretty desperate. Well, we approached them, and when we didn't have anything to share with them, they got mad. And started shooting. We scattered, ran in any direction. Two were killed right there, not even a chance to get away. Sheila and I met back up in the forest. But she had been shot, kidney shot, and there was nothing I could do. She was one of the 4 that I mercy killed."

After I was done telling my short story, I took a breath and looked around. I didn't see any accusation, just understanding on their faces.

"So, about this place. It's nice of you to invite me here. But what's in it for you? What do people here have to do to earn their keep?"

"Well, we are a community. We all have jobs to do." Rick answered. "What did you do before?"

"I was a doctor. A pediatric oncologist actually. Another lifetime ago."

They all looked at each other, surprised expressions.

"That's fantastic! We lost our doctor, we have someone filling in and learning, but not an actual doctor. Would you like to see our clinic? We would love for you to be there. We could really use another doctor."

I looked at Rick. He seemed so genuinely happy that I was here. Against my better judgement, I actually started feeling excited. Hope for something better for me. And sad, that my husband wasn't here with me to share this. He would have loved seeing this. An actual community, where people seemed to care and want more. Not just surviving, but trying to build something.

I smiled at him. "Let's go. I would love to see your clinic and help if I can."

Carol pushed off from the counter that she had been resting against and spoke up, "Rick, she can stay in my house if she hasn't already settled somewhere."

"Great! Why don't you take Alexa and drop off her stuff and then head over to see Denise at the clinic?" Rick responded.

People started drifting towards to door, saying goodbye's as they left. I grabbed my bag and started to turn to the door as well when a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"I'm really glad that you decided to join us back here. This will be a good thing for everyone. Come back after you talk with Denise and have dinner with us. We all would like to get to know you better and I'm sure you have some questions as well. I'll introduce to Aaron then. He usually does the recruiting; I know he will be anxious to meet you." Rick said as his hand lightly laid on my shoulder near my neck.

I had to take a breath before responding. I had butterflies from the unexpected touch. I couldn't remember the last time someone touched me out of kindness.

"Sounds good" I breathed staring into his bright blue eyes. "I'll see you later then."

He smiled and gave my shoulder a light squeeze before dropping his hand and stepping in front of me to open the door.

"See you" he responded.

I smiled and stepped through the door thinking it was crazy I actually had butterflies. I felt like a hormonal teenager. I heard Carol come up behind me and waited for her to lead the way. She passed by me quietly with just a smile and I followed.

Anxious to see the clinic and what was waiting there, I looked around as we walked. "Just amazing" I thought. It was hope. All around me; Hope.


	3. Chapter 3: A New Kind of Normal

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story.

Chapter 3: A New Kind of Normal

"So over there is the church. And that is the food pantry, and here is the clinic." said Carol as we walked from her house after dropping off my bag.

"Big place. I still can't believe something like this exists."

She looked at me square in the face… "yeah. And we will do whatever we have to, to make sure that is stands."

I bit my bottom lip and just did a nod and half smile in response. I didn't know about this Carol lady. From the outside she looked like a happy Suzy homemaker, but there was something there. Just below the surface that was telling me looks can be deceiving.

"Umm, should we go in now?" I ask.

Carol nods and goes up the steps into the house turned clinic.

"Denise? I have someone here that you will want to meet!" Carol calls out once we are inside.

"Hi Carol! I'm just finishing up in…" Denise said as she walked into the front room. She stopped talking as she saw I was standing there as well.

"Hi. I didn't realize that you had someone else with you. I'm Denise."

Denise stopped walking and had a curious smile on her face as she looked at me. She seemed very sweet, a very pleasant person with the little bit of bubbly talking I had heard.

"Hi Denise." I smiled at her. "It's great to meet you. Rick said I should come over here to see how you have set up the clinic. I just came into Alexandria a couple hours ago from being, well, from being out there. I'm a doctor and he was hoping I would have a little look around."

"Oh. Wow, okay then. I'll show you around."

"I'm going to get back to the house" Carol said. "When you are done here you are welcome to go back to the house or go on over to Rick's. We will be having a late dinner since you guys got in a little late."

I turned to watch Carol walk out the door and wondered once more what her story was. I got the feeling she hadn't been in Alexandria all along. There was more to her.

I turned back to Denise with a smile on my face and told her to "Lead the way."

Rick's POV

I sat in the kitchen watching Carl and Judith sit on the porch together. It had been a crazy and strange day. The return trip with Daryl for a quick run had turned into a disaster. Lost the car, had to walk back for miles. Then running across _her_ in the forest. At first he thought it was a stroke of bad luck. Another mouth to worry about feeding. Then finding out she had been a doctor. _A doctor!_ Denise was doing great, but to have two doctors would be such an advantage. Someone always available when needed.

As Rick sat there contemplating their day, Daryl walked in.

"You thinkin' 'bout the girl?" he asks while moving towards the kitchen.

"Yeah. I can't believe how our luck turned out today. What do you think about her?" Rick asks

Daryl squints at him from across the island ,"I think she's lucky we found her. She is pretty skinny and tired lookin'."

"Besides that. We weren't looking much better when Aaron found us."

Daryl grunted in agreement. "I think it's going to be great to have a real doctor here. Denise fixed up Carl okay, more than okay, she saved his life. But for her to have some help will be an added bonus. Ya trust her?"

Rick tilted his head to the side and answered, "Yeah. Yeah I do trust her. I saw the wedding ring she is wearing. I know there is more to her story and she has lost her people along the way. But I do trust her."

"Good 'nough for me" Daryl responded.

"She's supposed to come by later for a late dinner. I'm sure we will hear a little more of her story."

Alexa's POV

I finished up the tour of the clinic and said my "see you laters" to Denise. Sighing as I looked around, stars twinkling overhead, and soft lights coming out of many of the houses. I couldn't help but think this was a dream. To be behind walls and not looking behind me every two blinks, just expecting a corpse to try to eat me. I headed into Carol's house and saw that it was empty. A note was laying on the counter saying that she had gone over to Rick's and would see me there.

"Perfect." I thought to myself, "I'm going to grab an actual shower before I go over to dinner.

She must have known just what I was going to do since there was a change of clothes and a towel in the bathroom. "Suzy homemaker is good" I thought to myself with a smile.

Stepping into that shower was practically orgasmic. I know I had a little rinse in the stream where Rick found me, but nothing like this.

"Oh God" I groaned. I could stand in this lukewarm shower forever. I got to washing my long brown hair. Looking down I could see little pieces of twigs and leaves cluttering the bottom of the tub. I was waiting for something alive to join them, it was that bad. After washing with shampoo about 3 times and the water finally coming out clear, I conditioned and shaved my legs. Before the dead started walking, I hated shaving my legs. Such a hassle and now it was such a privilege. Perspective is an amazing thing! Finally done with the fussing and lingering in the shower, I got out and dried off. Using a brush I started on the tangles that held my scalp captive. After winning the battle I looked at myself in the mirror.

My eyes, hollowed out and looked like windows to a different person. My face, filled with scratches and way too thin, and down to my collarbone. Practically being concaved I knew how malnourished I was. The only thing that remained as a resemblance of my old life were my eyes: bright green. Other than that, I was a stranger to myself. Turning away from the mirror I started putting on the clothes that Carol had laid out. Actual _blue_ jeans and socks that weren't slimy from grossness. A shirt that wasn't stiff from black,oozy blood. Again, back to that perspective. Something as simple as shaving my legs and wearing clothes that weren't permanently molded into shape, was richly satisfying.

I headed out the door and towards Rick's place. Hoping that it wasn't going to be an incredibly awkward conversation, I was slightly optimistic. I was really curious where this little group had come from. The difference between Denise and Carol was clearly obvious. Daryl was a mystery. Not saying more than ten words to me since I met him. Maggie and Glenn seemed very sweet together, and it hurt a little watching that. It made me miss what I had, what I took for granted. And Rick's kids, that adorable baby. I could look at her all day and get lost in that world. Such innocence. Then my mind wandered to Rick. Something about him had me drawn to him. I wanted to learn about him, find out his story. But I know how guarded my story is, I wonder if his is just as guarded.

The noises of a home greeted me as I walked onto his porch. Dishes clinking and people talking. Something with tomatoes filled my nose. I raised my hand and knocked. No turning back now.


	4. Chapter 4: Getting To Know You

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story.

Chapter 4: Getting to Know You

"Hi Alexa!" Maggie grinned and opened the screen door for me. "Come on in, we are just serving up some spaghetti. Make you a plate?"

I smiled back at her as I walked into the dining room. "Sure. Yes, that would be great. Thanks!"

I looked around and saw everyone, including several new faces, sitting wherever they could fit. Looking very at ease and comfortable with each other. Lots of talking and bantering between people. I smiled as Maggie came back into the room holding a big bowl of fabulous smelling pasta and sauce.

"Thanks." I told her.

She smiled, "No problem. I saved you a spot over at the table by Rick and Aaron. Let's go sit and dig in. I'm starving!"

I sat in the open chair by Maggie. Directly across from me was Rick. He smiled as I sat down and I couldn't help but return it, feeling the fluttering in my stomach. "God" I thought, "His eyes can see right through me." To my right was Maggie and next to her Glen. Daryl was sitting next to Rick and on his other side, was little Judith. To my left was a man I hadn't met before and at the head of the table was Carl.

I glanced at Judith and let out a small chuckle watching her pile spaghetti in her hair. She was truly a bright spot in the world full of ugliness and uncertainty.

"She is a messy kid" Carl joked to me. Barely raising his head to look at me, I caught his eye watching me watch his little sister.

"She is!" I laughed, "And I cannot tell you how fantastic it is to watch her be messy. Such a gift."

Looking at Rick I said, " Thank you for asking me to come back with you and Daryl. I had no idea what to expect, and it sure wasn't this. Thanks." I felt myself blushing a little under his gaze.

"You're welcome. We are lucky to have you. Obviously you are strong, surviving on your own for any amount of time is hard. Plus, you're being a doctor isn't something you find often. We're glad you came back with us. You're going to be a great addition to us building this community."

Rick turning towards the man sitting next to me. "Alexa, this is Aaron. Our main recruiter for Alexandria. Aaron, this is Alexa that I was telling you about. She lost her group a while back and was on her own. She was a doctor before the turn."

I turned towards Aaron and saw his warm smile. "Hi Alexa. Rick has filled me in a little bit about you. It's good to have you here."

I smiled back and thanked him. They started talking amongst themselves while I ate. I was trying not to scarf the entire bowl down. It was the most delicious food I think I have ever eaten. Sitting there, with the steam coming off the sauce and hitting my nose, I was just in heaven for a moment. I caught snippets of conversations. A Hispanic girl in the corner was arguing with a huge, red headed man. Another guy sat near them watching the debate as if he was watching a tennis it or not, that guy had a mullet. I smiled thinking how my husband would have loved that. He loved people watching for mullets. A thin black woman sat on the couch, silently looking as if she was daydreaming. A small frown on her face, I could imagine it wasn't a pleasant daydream. As I was glancing around I caught the eye of another woman. She was watching me, studying me is probably more accurate of a description. She had dreadlocks and sat sitting back in her chair. Empty plate in front of her.

I smiled at her. Not sure what type of reaction she was looking for. She smiled back and moved into the seat Glen had been sitting in. I have no idea when he had even left the table.

"I'm Michonne. I wasn't here when Rick brought you in earlier. It's good to talk with you."

I felt a little intimidated by her. She carried an air of self assurance and I was instantly impressed by her.

"Hi" I smiled at her. "It's nice to meet you. So many people here, just in this room. I can't believe so many are in one place. I mean, in Alexandria. I'm still in disbelief about this entire day."

I was rambling, but I just didn't know when to turn it off. I was tired, meeting so many people, and feeling completely overwhelmed and out of my element.

The look she gave me in return was one of complete empathy. I sat there thinking, "I think it would be easy to be friends with her."

I turned back to my now empty bowl and started to pick it up to take it back to the kitchen. Carl shot up and said "Don't bother, I'll take for you."

"Oh. Well, thank you!" I was a little surprised since when I had first met him, his face told me that he didn't care one bit that I was there.

I watched him get up and wince slightly, and for just a slight moment, close his eye in pain. I really wanted to get a look at what was under that wrap. But knew I would have to be patient. I smiled and handed him the bowl and thanked him again. As I sat back in my chair all the way, I caught Rick watching me.

I decided it was time to speak up a little, "You know, Denise filled me in a little about your son. I just wanted to let you know, if you need anything to please let me know. My experience was in the field of his injury, but my offer stands. I know Denise did a fantastic job though."

I sat, waiting for his reply. He started at me for what seemed 5 minutes. In real time, it probably wasn't even 5 seconds.

"Thanks. I was thinking that maybe tomorrow, I would bring him to see you. I would like it looked at. He is doing so much better, just still getting headaches."

"I understand that. I'm more than happy to see him tomorrow. Denise asked for to come over there around lunch time and take over for her. So maybe then, so both she and I could be there?"

Rick gave a soft smile, "That would be great." and then he turned to Judith and started de-spaghettifying her.

By this time I could barely keep my eyes open, it had been a crazy day. A day that I was still in shock over and I was ready to go unconscious. I cleared my throat and scooted my chair back:

"Thank you so much for inviting me over and letting me join you all with your supper. I loved meeting you guys but I am going to say my good nights now. You all have a great night." I said to everyone as I walked slowly to the front door.

A chorus of "Good night's" met my ears and I couldn't help but smile at 'The Waltons' moment. As I started to turn to open the door, I heard someone say " Alexa, wait!"

I started to turn around to see who called out for me when Rick approached me. He opened the door and gestured for me to go ahead. I walked in front of him and he stepped out onto the porch with me.

"I just wanted to say good night and see if you needed me to walk you back to your place. You know the way okay?" Rick asked me, with an incredibly beautiful smile on his face.

I smiled back feeling the fluttering back and I swear my heart skipped a beat. "No, that's okay. I know the way back. You have your hands full with a girl who's hair strangely resembles spaghetti noodles. But thank you, I appreciate your asking."

He nodded his head, and gave a small chuckle. "Okay then, have a good night."

He leaned down and gave me a small, very friendly hug. I could smell soap and maybe a hint of pasta sauce on him.

I smiled once he stood straight and said a soft, "good night" and turned and walked down the steps and away from his house. I turned once at the end of the driveway and saw him leaning against the porch rail and he lifted one hand is a half wave. I returned it and turned around and started walking back to Carol's house.

What a night. The last time I had been around that many people, that were friendly, was at the beginning of the turn. Back when everyone still had some humanity left in them. If Rick and his family and friends knew the things that had happened to me and I had done, I really doubt they would be hugging me good night. I walked back to Carol's house with my thoughts tumbling around, wondering if this was truly real or if I was going to wake up and be back in a true nightmare.


	5. Chapter 5: Only In My Dreams

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story.

Chapter 5: Only In My Dreams

Once back at Carol's place, I went up to the room where she had me put my bag. I flopped onto the bed, breathing out for a quick minute. My mind was spinning from the day's events. Just taking that moment to breathe, I could feel my emotions start to bubble up. I missed my husband. I hated that he wasn't here with me now; to see this beautiful sanctuary, and share the happiness of being somewhere like this with him. I felt bad that I had butterflies when Rick had laid that hand on my shoulder. Almost like I was cheating on him. Cheating on the memories that we had.

We went to that conference in New York because I had been published in a medical journal. We had decided to make it into a mini vacation before going back home to hot and dry Phoenix, Arizona. We had only been there for 3 days when the news reports started. The mysterious illness sweeping the nation, and it went rampant so fast. Dean, my husband, was adamant that we needed to get back home right away. All air travel had been grounded, and no one was around to rent cars. Dean decided to just take a car. There were tons around, you could take your pick. We started heading out of the city right around the time the military decided it was time to kill the city. They bombed everything. As we were leaving, with the bridge behind us, all you could see was smoke with an orange glow underneath it. New York was gone. I remember grabbing Dean's arm as he drove and just holding it. It felt like my lifeline. I will never forget how strong he felt and the comfort that it brought me as everything around us was literally blowing up.

Sighing, I sat up and looked at my left hand. I still wore the rings he gave me. That we took our vows with. Who would have thought what "for better or worse" really meant? Twisting the rings, I tried to shut off my brain. It was going down a dark path. That first year after the turn, everything was lost. No use thinking about that and feeling it all over again. I needed a reality check. That pain of losing someone, the only important thing, can and most likely will happen again. I will not get close to someone like that again only to have them taken away.

I laid back on the bed, one hand resting on my stomach the other under my head. Closing my eyes I tried to relax and clear my mind. It felt so weird to be in a bed, in a house, and not barricading all the doors and windows. It made me nervous to be so relaxed.

I opened my eyes to light streaming in the window next to my head: I could hear the birds chirping outside. Rubbing my eyes, I slowly sat up and looked out the window. A fresh day, people were already outside and walking around. Smiling to myself, I turned from the window and pulled on my shoes. I made my way downstairs after using the bathroom and getting ready for the day. An actual, fairly normal morning routine again. Once I entered the kitchen area, I could see where Carol had been busy that morning. Some cookies and muffins sat out on the counter, looking freshly baked. I saw another note in the middle of the island and assumed it was meant for me. I picked it up and read " Good morning Alexa. I made some cookies and muffins, please help yourself if you want one. Or anything else in the kitchen is fine too. I am helping in the food pantry today. If you need anything let me know. We are going to do dinner at our house tonight. Same people as last night. Have a great day! -Carol"

I set the note down and grabbed a muffin. I figured I would eat it on the run, get out the house and go check out the rest of Alexandria. Making my way out the door and towards the sidewalk, I saw Daryl walking towards the guard platform. He stopped once he saw me and turned towards me as if he was waiting. Picking up my speed I caught up to him. "Hey Daryl" I said after swallowing the rest of the muffin. "How's your morning going?

"A'right. We are going to make a run tomorrow. There anything ya need?" he asked as he stood there, crossbow slung over his shoulder.

"I noticed that the clinic could use some supplies. They are low on all types of medicines and bandages, pretty much needs a restocking. You know, yesterday Denise mentioned an apothecary not too far from here. Maybe she or I could come with you since we know what we are low on. And what would be useful…" I suggested as he looked at me. I couldn't get a read on what he was thinking. His facial expression hadn't changed at all during our conversation.

"M'kay, let me talk with Rick and we'll figure somethin' out." Daryl shifted his weight from one leg to the other. I could tell he was ready to leave this conversation so I started started wrapping it up.

"All right. Thanks Daryl. I'll see you later!" I waved as I started to leave.

He grunted and nodded his head as acknowledgement and continued going towards the platform. I started to head towards to the clinic to just get started on my day there. I was a couple hours early, but it wasn't like there was anything else that I needed to do right then.

"Hey Denise" I announced my presence as I walked into the house. "I decided to join you a little early today. Gives us time to get me all caught up."

"Oh great! Nothing is really happening right now. I had some people come in with a sore throat, nothing bad though, I think they are just colds. Other than that, we are looking good." Denise said in her bubbly way.

I smiled as I looked around. It was a strange, but good, feeling being around medical work again. I didn't think that this would ever happen in my lifetime. "Carl and his dad are supposed to come in later. I wanted to sit in on when you change and redress his injury if you don't mind."

"Not at all. I was thinking that maybe you should handle the severe injuries. I can assist you with them and handle the smaller day-to-day little things. I want to learn though. I want to continue to get better, but I am more than willing to handle the stuff that is way over my head."

"I am completely fine with that Denise. Thanks for trusting me so quickly with your patients. I think this will work out nice. It will be good for both of us to not be spread too thin. You have done a great job with everything here. I was talking with Daryl and mentioned we needed some things here. It looks like we are running low on pretty much everything. You had mentioned that apothecary yesterday, maybe one of us should go with him and get some stuff?"

Denise slowly nodded her head in agreement. "I know you just got here, and you probably aren't wanting to go back out there anytime soon. I can go." She looked extremely uncomfortable with that idea.

"You don't have to go. I really don't mind. I'll just take what I can get there. But is there anything special that maybe you want?" I asked her. I didn't really want to go back out there, but I was willing to pull my weight.

Denise smiled and looked down. "I'll have to think about that." She said quietly. I could there was a story behind that face. One that I wasn't going to learn today.

We went through files and just did small chit chat until Rick and Carl walked in.

"Hi Denise, Alexa" Rick nodded to both of us as he came into the room and sat in the chair nearest the bed. Carl went and sat on the bed.

"Hey Carl" Denise said as she started getting setting up a steel tray with gauze, solution, scissors, and tape. "How you feeling? Any headaches or anything we should know about?"

"I get headaches sometimes. Not too bad though. My eye, uh, the one that isn't there anymore, it hurts sometimes." Carl replied looking uncomfortable and glancing at his dad. Rick's head snapped up at that and looked at his son. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. Lips set in a straight line.

"That is completely normal Carl" I reassured him "they are called "Phantom pains". Your body is just remembering what was there and the nerves are responding. It will slowly stop happening." I was unwrapping his dressing getting a better look at the wound. It was substantial. The eye and socket was missing, along with a big part of the bone. It looked like a deep graze, just in one of the worst spots possible. But the flesh was looking good; healing as expected. It was a miracle that he was up walking and talking with an injury like this. It's true, kids are resilient.

I cleaned up the wound and clipped the dead skin away. I nodded to Denise that it was good to rewrap. I patted Carl on the leg "All right Carl. That's done. It looks really good. You are doing a great job keeping it clean and dry. Keep it up. For your headaches keep taking the pain medication that Denise gave you, as needed. If anything changes: fever, pain increasing, turning red around it, just let one us know right away." I said to Carl and looked at Rick. Carl sat still and Rick nodded his head that he understood.

After Denise was done, she and Carl headed to the front door. I started to follow when Rick stopped me. "Alexa. I hear that you need some stuff for the clinic."

" I do. We do actually. I talked with Denise and we decided that I would join Daryl tomorrow on the run." Rick started to shake his head no. "One of has to go. Daryl doesn't know all the medication names and everything we need. This will be so much easier and more efficient. I can handle myself out there. I didn't think I needed to permission to leave." I said getting a little frustrated at his hesitance.

"It's just, you just got here. It would be good for you to rest. Regain some strength before going on runs. I'm just looking out for the safety of everyone. "

" I think I know myself better than anyone here. I'm good to go. You wanted me to contribute, gave me some responsibility, then let me do it." I replied, speaking fast and forcibly. I really didn't care for the way he was trying to take control of what I did.

Rick let out a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. "All right. It seems like you have made up your mind. I'll let Daryl know that you're going with. At dinner tonight you all can work out the plans." Rick said all this in a bit of rush and with no enthusiasm.

I felt a little bad, I could tell he really was just trying to do what he thought was right. "Thanks Rick. It will be fine. We will get what we need if it's there and be back. I doubt it will take long." I smiled at him trying to ease the situation. "I'll see you at dinner tonight?"

"We will be there" Rick said. " we wouldn't miss one of Carol's dinners. She wouldn't take kindly to that." He let out a small laugh and walked to the door. Before he left, he paused and did one last look at me and then walked out the door.

I started cleaning up the room, wondering what he was thinking. I knew I had annoyed him by not listening. I decided then I would apologize for that. But not for me standing my ground. He was different from Dean. Dean always let me have my way, no matter what. I never had to ask twice or "prove my point". This was a new thing for me.

All I could think about for the rest of the day, was how I was going to bring it up at dinner. And looking forward to seeing him again. I sighed, "This is going to be interesting" I thought.


	6. Chapter 6: Down By The Tracks

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story.

Chapter 6: Down By The Tracks

"See you in a couple days Denise!" I called behind me as I stepped out of the clinic. It had been a quiet day. Rick and Carl coming in was the main event. I walked towards Carol's house. I guess it was my house too. I could hear the crickets chirping, it wasn't quite dusk yet. But the air was getting heavier, settling down for the evening to come. Turning and walking up the driveway, I could hear the sounds of a full house. The chaos greeted me as I walked in the front room. The big, red headed man was retelling some glory story with huge animation. There was laughter and people moving around. Michonne dashed in behind me "Excuse me!" she called out as she passed me by. She handed a stack of white items to Rick. Carl stood next to him with his nose wrinkled. "Judy...this is bad. What did you eat?!" Carl gagged a little when Rick took the white item and unfolded it and started to move Judith around.

"Ohhhhh!" Father and son exclaimed as Rick removed the dirty diaper and held it out.

"Nope. Nope. No, I'm not getting near that." A dark haired young girl said.

"Ppft! I'll do it" Daryl said as he grabbed the diaper. He turned around and headed past me with a stone set face. I swear I could see his eyes a little glassy though. His adam's apple moved as he swallowed hard. I quickly moved to the side to give him room; after he passed me I got a whiff of what he was holding. I couldn't blame the girl for saying no. It was bad.

"There. All done." Rick proclaimed as he picked up the baby and moved her to the floor to play with her blocks.

I stepped into the room then and said my hello's to everyone.

"Enid, grab that dish please." Carol asked the girl who had refused to touch the diaper.

Enid silently did as she was asked and stood quietly, watching the room and others around her.

"Dinner!" Carol called out. Looking at me, "You had better grab your plate now. This place is about to get busy."

Grinning, I walked over and filled my plate up. I settled down at a small, round table in the bay of the kitchen. Rick, Glenn, Daryl, and Maggie soon joined me.

"How was your day with Denise?" Maggie spoke in between bites of her baked chicken.

"It was good! Quiet and all, which is a good thing. Just so hard to believe yesterday I was out there, fighting to survive, and today I was reviewing medical files." I shook my head just thinking about it.

"Speaking of being "out there", Alexa is going with Daryl, Rosita and Spencer on a small run tomorrow. They are going to be looking for some medical supplies, and whatever else they may run across." Rick announced to the table.

Glen paused, so briefly, while bringing his fork up to his mouth and raised his eyebrows. He finished his bite and looked at Daryl. Daryl shifted in his sight and cleared his throat gruffly. "We will leave right at dawn. Have yer stuff ready to go. Should be back by the evening."

"Well good." Maggie spoke up, "It's good that you're going. You probably know more about medications and what can be of value than anyone. Just be careful."

I looked around the table and smiled. "I'm sure it will be fine. Seems like I'm going to be with some pretty seasoned people here. Just a quick in and out is all we need."

Rick nodded his head, "yeah….always seems easy. Just hope it works out that way. Follow Daryl's lead."

"I will" I responded quietly, looking at Rick. I knew we needed to talk before the evening was over. Clear the air from earlier in the day.

The rest of the dinner was spent with quiet chatter and everyone started drifting out. Rick was packing up Judith and her little items as I approached the duo. "Rick, I'm sorry I was a little short with you earlier. I know that you're just looking out for everyone. I'm new and you all don't know my abilities yet. I shouldn't have reacted so quickly and defensively." I said quietly with a small smile. "I just really want to pull my weight around here, and I could tell Denise really didn't want to go. I just wanted to help her out too."

Rick straightened up with Judith in his arms, "Thanks for letting me know. I just worry about the group. You are new, and you aren't up to full strength yet. You just got here. I want to be fair to you and the others. Everyone needs to look out for each other and I wanted to make sure that everyone is good. But, you were right too. You have every right to go, and I am going to trust that you wouldn't do anything to put anyone in danger."

"I won't" I answered, smiling at Judith as she reached her chubby arms out to me. Letting her play with my finger to try to appease her, I looked up at Rick and lightly laughed. "I didn't think there would ever be a day for a little one to have a chance in this world. She's lucky you're her dad. I have a feeling you would move heaven and hell to keep these kids safe." Judith was happily pulling my hand up and down and laughing at this point.

Rick smiled at her, "I have. And I would do it again. We would never have made it though without all our family."

"Like I said, she's lucky." I took my hand away from Judith and ran my hand over her silky head. "All right. I'm going to head up and get ready for bed. Big day tomorrow! Good night you guys."

"Good night. We will see you when you get back. Stay safe Alexa." Rick looked down at me, his eyes filled with worry and apprehension.

I bit my lower lip for a moment, nodded my head once, and then went upstairs. I couldn't tell if he was worried that I was going to do damage to the group, or if he was worried about me in general.

Morning came all too soon. It had taken me awhile to turn off my brain and fall asleep. I kept replaying every word and look gave me last night. Grabbing my bag, I left to meet Daryl and the rest of the group at the main gate.

Rosita and I walked up to Daryl about the same time. Spencer was already there waiting with Daryl. "A'ight. Everyone ready?" Daryl asked the group and he picked up his crossbow and moved it to his shoulder.

We all just nodded and readjusted our packs and weapons. With a nod, Daryl turned and did a loud knock on the door, letting the guy manning the gate to open it for us. We all followed him through, watching for walkers as we maneuvered through the maze of cars that was protecting the front entrance. Daryl walked up to an old, beat up truck and said for everyone to get in.

Spencer hopped into the bed of the truck and then leaned down to give me a hand. Rosita headed for the passenger side of the cab, so I grabbed Spencer's hand and settled down near the trucks cab.

"So, what's your story? I heard that Rick and Daryl found you, on your own, out here. A doctor wandering around on her own." Spencer said to me as we rumbled and bumped down the road. I don't think this truck had any shocks left. I kept shifting on the metal bed and bumping into Spencer.

"I think a lot of people are alone out here. Sometimes it's safer that way. The people that are left, in big groups, not always good." I told him, "killing walkers is the easy part. You know they are out to hurt you. Being with people, it's the unknown." I said as I watched the trees pass by.

Before Spencer could respond, the truck lurched and started baulking. Then it choked out. Dead in the street. Looking into the window of the cab I saw Daryl hit the steering wheel and open his door. "We're walking now, Grab yer shit." he grunted out as he picked up his crossbow.

I hopped out of the truck bed, and started following Daryl. We all walked in relative silence until we to some train tracks. "It's shorter this way." Rosita said, pointing down the tracks.

"Nah, we'll stick to the road" Daryl responded, squinting at her.

"But this cuts the trip practically in half. I don't want to walk longer than I have to. Let's just get there and get this done!"

"Pfft… nah. I ain't goin' on no damn tracks! You go if you want. I'll see ya there." Daryl spat out and continued down the road.

Rosita turned on her heel and started stomping down the tracks in the direction of the town. Spencer glanced and me and nodded his head, indicating to follow Rosita. "No thanks. I'll stick with Daryl" I told him. I turned and caught up with Daryl just a short ways down the road.

I glanced back once and saw Spencer hesitate and then turn to catch up with Rosita. Settling into a quick pace alongside Daryl we continued down the road. Not talking, just walking in comfortable silence.

We didn't run into any trouble. There was only a couple of walkers that we encountered the entire walk, which Daryl took out quickly with his bolts. We walked into the little strip mall and found Rosita and Spencer waiting out front, sitting on the bench. "Took you guys long enough. We got here awhile ago. No trouble on the tracks." Rosita spoke quickly, trying not to bite out her words.

"Mmhmm" Daryl grunted out as he got to work on opening the door. It was locked but he managed to pry it open using some sort of tool. Rosita Scowled and rolled her eyes with her arms crossed behind him.

Daryl looked at me "Stay here. I'm going in first to check it." I nodded my head, letting him know I understood. Spencer stayed next to me as we waited. Daryl came back and nodded his head, indicating it was clear. Inside everything looked untouched. All merchanise was in its place, dusty and full of cobwebs, but organized still.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe this!" I thought to myself as I ran back into the pharmacy area. Tons of medication, all lined up neatly in rows. I swallowed and had a huge smile on my face. "Anyone have an extra bag?" I called out as I filled up my own. I hadn't expected this much to be here. Rosita tossed me one that had been on a shelf and I started filling up that one as well.

By the time I was done, I had filled three bags with medicine and supplies. I walked back out into the main room. There was a little room off to the side that Spencer had gone into. He stumbled out, looking a little green. "Don't go in there." he warned us. "You do NOT want to see that."

Daryl looked away from him, practically rolling his eyes. "A' ight, ya'll ready then?" He was fishing something out of a soda cooler, and opening his bag.

I nodded tossing a bag to Rosita and one to Spencer to carry. "Yep, all set here" I announced happily as I walked with a bounce to Daryl. He looked at me in an amused way and then lead the way out the door.

We all walked together until the hit the tracks again. "Let's go this way." Daryl said, already starting down them. Looking surprised, Rosita followed behind him quickly, Spencer and I behind her. We were making quick work of our trip, I was looking out into the forest and noticed it was really quiet. No birds noises, no walker noises...just our noise as we walked in the rocks along the tracks. I slowed down for a moment, " Hey, Daryl…." I began and quickly moved a few steps to talk with him. Not even a second after I had moved, an arrow pierced the air and space where I had just been standing.

I let out a yelp and turned quickly in the direction that the arrow came from. Next to me Daryl already had his crossbow up and was aiming at something.

"Well, well. Look who's here." A man stepped out of the shadows, one half of his face disfigured from a burn. From Daryl's breathing I could tell he recognized him. I couldn't believe my eyes seeing this man. I knew him, I had run into him before. Seemed forever ago, and yesterday at the same time. He played a huge part of making my life miserable. I could hear him and Daryl exchanging words, I didn't even pay attention to what was being said. All I could hear was a whooshing noise, similar to a waterfall, in my head. A living nightmare in front of me.

Dwight, I remembered his name, stopped talking with Daryl and looked at me. "Angel Face, haven't see you in some time. I know someone that is going to be _very_ happy that you are back. Let's keep the whole, almost shooting you with an arrow thing, between us. 'Kay?" He smirked at me and then pulled out one of our own. Eugene. Poor Eugene was forced to sit there and the tension was immeasurable between everyone.

All I was armed with was a knife. If I had been holding a gun, I would have shot Dwight right then and there. Consequences be damned. I closed my eyes for a moment, not able to focus on what was happening right in front of me. I heard a scream pierce the air and saw Eugene had his mouth clamped down on a rather delicate area of Dwight's pants. Then everything exploded. Shooting and shouting. People moving all over the place. I looked around for any weapon I could find, coming up with only rocks I could throw, besides my knife.

In reality it all happened quickly. Dwight and his goons retreated into the forest. Looking around I could see the carnage of some of Dwight's people. And then I spot ted Eugene. He had been injured. I ran over to him and start looking for the source of bleeding. I quickly saw where a bullet had grazed him. It was bleeding profusely, but wasn't in a life threatening spot. I grabbed what I could from my bag and started trying to stop the bleeding. The others, including Abraham, came over to where I was with Eugene. "What can we do to help?" Rosita anxiously asked. I could see in her eyes she looks as helpless as I felt during the shootout.

"We need to get him back. I need to clean this and get the bleeding under control. Let's go now!" I spoke to everyone in a firm voice. The doctor in my taking over, not happy someone was hurt, but relieved I didn't have to think about what just happened. I was just focused on getting Eugene back.

We all grabbed our stuff, lifting Eugene as well, and took off down the tracks to Alexandria. I could see the tension on Daryl's face. And he was furious. I'm sure he was thinking about what Dwight had said to me. I knew I was going to be talking a lot later, explaining things I really didn't want to remember.

We approached the Alexandria's gates. "Open up. Now!" Daryl shouted as we all rushed towards safety. We quickly got in and went immediately to the clinic. Once Eugene was settled on the bed, I went to work. I saw Daryl move quietly to the doorway and could hear talking. Rick had come in and Daryl was filling him in; on everything I'm sure. I moved around the corner of the bed and looked up. Rick was standing, one hand resting on top of his holster, staring at me with his head slightly cocked to the side. Brilliant blue eyes, steady, on my green ones. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to want to talk.


	7. Chapter 7: Angel Face

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story. **Language may be offensive to some**

Chapter 7: Angel Face

I walked away from the clinic, drained from everything that happened today. Walking slowly down the road, I thought of heading straight to Carol's. I wanted to just go there, and hide out in my room. As if I were a 5 year old hiding from their parents when caught doing something bad. Instead, I headed in the opposite direction. The direction of Rick's house. As I neared his house, I could feel something similar to dread wash over me. I knew there was going to be questions….questions that I understood them asking, but not wanting to relive where they would take me.

Turning into his driveway and up to his front porch, I stepped lightly. He was already out on his porch as I walked up the steps. He turned and I could see his face; completely unreadable and lips set in a straight line. "Hey" I said as I stepped to the porch railing and leaned against it with one hip.

"Alexa" he greeted me. He shifted so he was leaning against the rail, looking square at me.

"Rick, I'm sorry. Everything went so crazy out there today, and...I don't know. It was all just crazy." I said awkwardly, not quite sure how to even start the conversation.

Rick was silent for a minute; almost as if he was waiting to see if I was going to add anything else. Finally he cleared his throat and spoke," Daryl filled me in on what happened. Doesn't sound like you have anything to apologize for. Eugene was lucky you were there to help him."

I picked at the wood railing a bit and shrugged my shoulders at what he was saying. "I didn't have any weapons that could help with fighting back...I stood there like an idiot. I feel bad for that." I paused and then went on, " And I know Daryl told you that they knew me. That I knew _them_." I finished up saying and looked up at him waiting for a reaction.

"Yeah, he mentioned that to me.", Rick acknowledged my words. "So, you wanna fill me in on that little bit there?"

My mouth felt so dry; swallowing, I started my story, "Back near the beginning of of the turn. Of when we were all still adjusting to what we are living in now, we, my husband and I, were traveling from New York. We were just trying to get back home, and helping people as we could along the way. We were doing fine for awhile, travelling with a few other people and surviving best we could. One of the people in our group was scouting ahead and came back with about ten other people. One of those people was Dwight, the guy from today. Anyways, he offered for us to come to their camp. He said they had food and we could rest. We were so naive, we all went along. We came to a camp ground, probably around 50 people around. Men and women. Once we were there, everyone was nice. Said we were welcome to our share of what they had. It all seemed too good to be true. And it was."

I took a breath, knowing what was coming up next. Rick hadn't really moved during my talking. He hadn't said a word either. Just stood there silently taking it all in.

"We had been there a couple of days, Dean, my husband, was ready to leave. We started noticing little things. People bringing in large amounts of supplies, but not really being gone long enough to explain how they brought back so many things at once. Then we saw some women come in, not looking happy, and being sort of led around by Dwight and his crew. So Dean went up to Dwight, said his thanks but it was time for at least the two of us to leave. The rest of our group wanted to stay behind. Dwight said that before we go, we had to meet his boss. Their leader. The way he said it, we knew we weren't being asked to stay and wait. We felt like we had no choice but to wait. That evening, a few trucks and cars all came in together. We didn't go over to greet them like the regulars there. Then _he_ approached us. Negan. He came over to us and said "I'm Negan. I run this fucking place and all the fuckity fuckers that stay here report to me. And one of those fuckers said you two are asking to leave. And this was after we fed and let you stay here. No questions asked. I don't think that is really all that fair to me now. And I also had a little birdie tell me that you two are in the helping people business, or used to be before we landed in the shitstorm we're in now. I'm thinking we need the two of you around. Doctors are in short supply nowadays."

I shifted so I wasn't looking at Rick anymore and was looking straight off the porch. I could feel my throat tightening, I couldn't swallow anymore.

"After Negan made his _suggestion_ for us to stay, Dean was furious. I could tell he was trying to control his anger. We went back to our tent, and Dean made plans for us to sneak off in the middle of the night. Escape so to speak. Later that night, we did that. We walked until almost dawn, quiet out, until we walked right into them. ABout 20 of them all lined up waiting for us. They must have been following us from the start. Negan came up to us, said he had to teach us a lesson. He said he doesn't kill women, plus I was an actual doctor, so I wasn't to be touched. Then he made Dean sit on his knees, with me right next to him… and he killed him. It was horrible, a horrible way for anyone to die. And it was my husband. And Negan just killed him." I couldn't speak anymore. My throat refused to swallow and I felt like I was transported back to that night.

My eyes were filled with tears, that I knew with one blink would fall down my face. The next thing I knew, Rick softly pulled my right shoulder so I was facing him again and folded me into a hug.

"I'm sorry. So sorry that happened to you and your husband." Rick said softly in my ear as I stood against his chest.

I nodded and leaned back looking into his face, "He is an evil man. And all of his followers are just as bad. Negan took a special interest in me, after he _killed_ Dean. I never was allowed to be alone, someone was always with me. The things I saw, and couldn't stop, I will never get over. He would send me in to clean up afterwards, clean up the people that were left alive. He would call me "Angel" since I would help them. And the ones that didn't make it, he made sure I was the "Angel Face" they saw right before he killed them. I would just stand there and watch. I wanted to run, or scream, or try to kill him, but I never could. I even thought about ending it all, and I was never alone to even do that. I just can't go back to that, I can't be here if they come. I can't see anymore!" I said as I finally blinked and the tears rolled. I shook my head slightly, not wanting to believe this was even real. It was awful living it, but saying it aloud made it real.

"We won't, _I_ won't, let anything happen to you Alexa." Rick said, rubbing his hands lightly up and down my upper arms.

I gave Rick a small smile, knowing that he would be outnumbered if they ever ran into each other. And Rick seemed good and wanted to protect people where Negan was cold, calculating, and people were a service to him. "I don't think the good guys win in this world though." I whispered.

Rick took me into another hug, and I allowed him to comfort me. I was scared for the future. For the people that lived here and their way of life. "Let's go inside for a bit?" Rick asked me and started headed in the direction of the door.

I really didn't want to be alone, rethinking everything that was just said, so I nodded my head in agreement and started following. Rick stopped at the doorway and opened it, guiding me inside by placing his hand on my lower back. I walked in a few steps and waited for him to join me. "I'm going to make some coffee. You want some?" he asked.

"That sounds great. Thanks Rick."

"Okay, be right back."

I sat down on the couch and leaned back into the cushions as far as I could. I could hear Rick closing cupboard doors and moving around in the kitchen. I closed my eyes, they were burning from trying not to cry and not succeeding, and just sat for a moment.

I never heard Rick come back in with the cups of coffee, or felt him lay a blanket over me before he sat down on the end of the couch. I fell into an exhausted sleep filled with Dean's face and then Rick's comforting hugs. I felt safe.


	8. Just One More Morning

Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Walking Dead. The only payment I receive is of my enjoyment of creating this story. **Language may be offensive to some**

Chapter 8: Just One More Morning

I woke up to hushed voices. Opening my eyes, I looked around and saw that I was still in Rick's living room. A blanket was over me, and I was laying on the couch now. I must have fallen asleep waiting for the coffee last night.

After sitting up and stretching out the kinks from my uncomfortable sleeping position, I stood and headed towards the voices coming from the kitchen. Carl was sitting at the counter talking with Rick, who was holding little Judith.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to fall asleep like that. I'm so embarrassed." I said, feeling awkward with the three of them watching me. Carl was smirking a little and looked down to try to hide it. Judith reached her chubby little arms out for me to hold her and made a whining noise. I reached to take her and saw Rick had a gentle smile as he handed her over.

"Don't worry about it. You had a really long day yesterday. You needed the rest. I didn't want to wake you once you fell asleep." Rick said, smiling at me.

Carl gave a little snort, "Yeah, you must have been tired. I think it's close to dinner time now."

"What? Oh my gosh… Now I really am embarrassed!" I said, holding Judith closer.

"Carl…. Stop." Rick gave a small laugh, "No Alexa, it's not. It's only barely lunch time."

"Oh, so much better!" I said sarcastically and laugh, swaying and bouncing with Judith a little to try to get a giggle out of her.

"Let's get you something to eat" Rick said as he started moving around the kitchen, getting different ingredients out.

Smiling I sat down next to Carl in one of the barstools, and just bask in this moment.

* * *

After my early lunch I went back at Carol's place. It was quiet, and smelled of stale cigarettes. I looked around but didn't see Carol anywhere. Figuring she must be somewhere around the town, I went to get showered and changed. After playing around with my mess of wet hair, I headed over to clinic to see Denise.

"Hey Denise!" I called out walking into the clinic. When I got in, I saw Maggie sitting on the bed hunched over in pain. "What's wrong?!" I exclaim rushing to her side.

Denise responded first "Enid brought her over: her stomach is hurting, she's worried about the baby."

My eyebrows shot up, I didn't even know she was pregnant. I looked at Maggie and noticed her extremely pale and clammy skin. I felt her pulse and it was way too high.

"Any bleeding? Nausea? Cramps?" I ask while taking her blood pressure.

"I'm cramping awful. And sick to my stomach." Maggie faintly whispers.

I turn to Denise "Do we have a sonogram or ultrasound machine here at all? We need to get a look to see what's going on. Her blood pressure is too high along with her pulse."

"No. Not here. But Hilltop does!" My face must have asked my question for me, Denise hurriedly goes on to explain, "Hilltop is another community. They have an OB doctor there."

I stand still for just a moment. "Okay. We need to get her there, _now_. Go get Rick."

"Enid already is. She left to get you and Rick after she brought her here. She must have gone to his place first." Denise responds. I silently nod acknowledging her words.

"All right Maggie. I'm going to go talk with Rick. Just lay on your left side, drink some water. We are going to get you some help." I say to her, while helping get her situated. I lay my hand on her hair for a moment before turning to go out the door to find Rick.

I just stepped outside and saw Rick and Enid running towards me. "What's goin' on? Enid said Maggie is hurt?!"

"I don't know Rick. It could be something with the baby. Or the placenta. She needs an ultrasound. I can't help her without knowing what it is. If there is a chance to save the baby, she needs more help than I can give her." I said, my shoulders sagging feeling like I have failed.

Rick pinches the bridge of his nose, and then responds, "Okay. We are going to Hilltop. They have a good doctor there. And more equipment. I'm going to go round up a few people and we are leaving." Rick jogged away to start get things moving. Enid stood there looking unsure.

"Where is Glenn?" I asked her.

"He left. Daryl left and Glenn, Rosita and Michonne went after him." She quickly said. "I'm going to go find Carl." She turns and starts in the same direction that Rick went.

I turned and ran back into the clinic. I started packing a bag with various medical supplies and medicines to travel with Maggie. By the time I was finished Rick and Carl were running into clinic.

"She ready?" Rick asks, looking at her with anxious and caring eyes.

"Yeah. All set." I replied, slinging the bag over one shoulder. "I'm coming with, Rick. She needs a either Denise or me there along for the ride. I'm coming." I walked towards him, pausing a moment to let my hand rest on his forearm. He nodded his head in agreement.

"All right. Let's go." Rick said as he picked Maggie up and carried her out the door. An RV was waiting outside. Rick took Maggie in right away and I followed him up the steps. I saw baby Judith in the preacher's arms before the door shutting blocked my vision.

* * *

The ride was long and discouraging. We met constant roadblocks put forth by Negans people. I stayed in the RV with Maggie the entire time, not wanting to complicate the situation. I was absolutely terrified. Every direction we went, we were being confronted. Carl was sitting looking pissed, I could almost see the anger rolling off him in heat waves. Rick seemed a mixture of concern for Maggie and a controlled worried about Negans people. At one of the roadblocks, it was discovered that Negans people had captured Daryl and the others. I watched Maggie, she was in constant pain but was trying so hard to remain calm. Rick was a constant comfort to her.

Night was upon us, and we were no closer to Hilltop than before. Eugene and Rick devised a plan where Eugene would drive the RV and try to throw Negans people off the track while the rest of us continued on foot. It was a suicide mission for Eugene and we all knew it.

We split off from the RV and started walking through the dense forest. The underbrush and denseness of the forest was ridiculous to navigate through. Poor Maggie was being jostled on the makeshift gurney she was layingon. I knew each bump had to be excruciating for her.

I don't know how long we walked, the moon was bright overhead peeking through the trees. Abraham started looking around anxiously. "Do you hear that?" he asked, his voice urgent.

"Yeah, I do" Rick said, looking around as well. "Let's move!"

As we picked up the pace we could hear whistles all around us. Some distant, others closer. They were surrounding us, there was no way to tell any one source. They were everywhere.

I remembered these whistles. They were the same ones that surrounded Dean and I before. Just not so many of them. The amount was mind numbing. It was I could hear and caused that fight or flight mode. My heart was thundering out of my chest with the running and the enormous amount of dread I was feeling. All I wanted was to go back to this morning. Holding that sweet baby, joking about how long I had slept, the comfort and warmth surrounding us. Instead, we were being herded like sheep and we all knew it. I didn't have to say anything; everyone knew exactly how deep of shit we were in.


End file.
